West Virginia residents preparing for Halloween are being advised to consider breathable fabrics after the coming week’s forecast suggested October intends to finish its shift dressed as July.
The Holler Herald’s chief meteorologist, Earl “Radar” Mullins, said Charleston-area afternoon temperatures are forecast to spend most of October 26–November 1 in the 70s, creating difficult conditions for anyone who purchased a full-body fleece costume in September.
“You bought that thing thinking you’d need long johns underneath it,” Earl said. “Now you’re looking for a dinosaur with central air.”
The Charleston outlook starts with a mostly sunny Monday near 72 degrees, followed by highs around 75 Tuesday and Wednesday, 77 Thursday, and 78 Friday.
Morning lows are forecast around 40 Monday and in the upper 40s through much of the workweek.
“That’s a jacket at the bus stop and an argument about the air conditioner by supper,” Earl explained. “Keep both available.”
Residents who recently packed away their summer clothes are advised to retrieve whichever tote is underneath the Christmas decorations.
One local father said he had already committed to dressing as a werewolf and would not be changing plans simply because the atmosphere had failed to cooperate.
His wife said he could remain committed while carrying his own head.
Halloween Saturday is currently forecast to reach roughly 73 in Charleston, with partly sunny skies and an overnight low near 53. Those are daytime and overnight readings, Earl noted, rather than a promise of the exact temperature during any community’s trick-or-treat hours.
“Check again before you leave,” he said. “And check what time your town’s doing it. I predict clouds. I don’t schedule the Baptists.”
Earl expects heavy concentrations of parents carrying abandoned costume accessories by the third house, with isolated complaints that somebody’s chocolate is getting soft.
Children dressed as skeletons should remain comparatively mobile. Adults inside inflatable costumes may discover that the little fan is supporting an entire household.
Hunters, meanwhile, can expect another week of leaving the house dressed for the first hour and regretting it during the walk back.
“If you’re hauling three layers into the woods and bringing all three back in your hands, that’s your seasonal migration,” Earl said.
Sunday’s Charleston forecast currently calls for rain, a high near 68, and an overnight low around 53.
Earl described the timing as consistent with the longstanding tradition of getting outdoor decorations thoroughly wet immediately before someone asks you to put them away.
“That twelve-foot skeleton may be waterproof,” he said. “The cardboard box you’re trying to get him back into ain’t.”
The forecast above uses Charleston as a reference, not a statewide temperature guarantee. Mountain communities and higher elevations can have different conditions. Forecasts can change, especially toward the weekend; check your local forecast before outdoor plans.
Earl’s official recommendation for the week is to dress in layers, keep an umbrella handy for Sunday, and avoid purchasing a Halloween costume that requires another person to unzip you.
At press time, one West Virginia household had the furnace running downstairs and a bedroom window open upstairs.
Both occupants reported that the other one was the problem.
The Holler Herald — West Virginia’s Least Reliable News Source.
