Local
Charleston Man Turns On Heated Seats, Refuses to Admit It’s Cold
His wife says he scraped the windshield in shorts.
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Local
Funny takes on West Virginia towns, familiar places, mountain roads and everyday Appalachian life from The Holler Herald. These local stories are satire.
28 stories, preserved for the permanent record.
Local
West Virginia Man Launches Search for Long-Lost Relative He Spoke to Yesterday
Family requests privacy despite remaining in the same group chat.
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Local
West Virginia Man’s Entire Drive Home Now Takes Place at Midnight Despite It Being 5:14 P.M.
Resident declares day officially over, learns family still expects dinner and groceries.
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Local
Local Zombie Gives Up After Failing to Find Brains in Facebook Comments
Patient Zero spends afternoon hungry, somehow joins argument about a black panther.
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Local
West Virginia Man Becomes Zombie, Still Expected at Work Monday
Supervisor says employee appears capable of sitting down and making noises.
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Local
Holler Herald Publisher Becomes West Virginia’s Patient Zero, Calls It “Something I’ve Been Preparing For”
Officials declare emergency as local publisher asks whether anyone got a horizontal picture.
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Local
Morgantown Taco Supplies Exhausted After Local Man Gets “A Little Hungry”
Restaurants describe coordinated dinner rush involving one customer.
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Local
West Virginia Man Takes Scenic Route Home, Arrives in Time to Leave for Work
“It comes out right over here,” he said, approximately three counties before it did.
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Local
Call Center Agent Who “Couldn’t Help With Winning Lottery Numbers” Quits After Hitting Jackpot
Customers begin questioning whether there really was nothing else he could help them with.
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Local
West Virginia Man Learns at 43 That “Falling Rock” Signs Are Not Memorials to Missing Chief’s Daughter
“He pointed right at the sign while he told it. You don’t expect a man to have documentation for a lie.”
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Local
90,000 People Apply to Move to West Virginia, Residents Ask What They Were Told
“Did they visit in October? Because that feels like withholding information,” one local says.
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Local
West Virginia Man Turns Heat On for First Time, Family Briefly Evacuates Over Smell Everyone Recognizes
“It’s just burning the dust off,” says father with no apparent plans to investigate.
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Local
West Virginia Man Refuses GPS, Takes Family on Three-Hour Shortcut Through Roads Not Recognized by State
Local father insists he knows a faster way despite mounting evidence that he does not.
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Local
Thousands Leave Bridge Day Confident They Could Also BASE Jump If They “Had the Right Equipment”
Most reached this conclusion while standing safely behind a railing and eating a funnel cake.
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Local
Charleston Convention Center Renamed Vandalia Health Center, Entire City Responds, ‘I’m Not Calling It That’
Officials announced the new name with great confidence. Charleston residents immediately announced a different plan.
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Local
How Long Is ‘Just Down the Road’ in West Virginia?
An investigation finds the familiar unit of distance can range from two driveways to forty-seven mountain miles.
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Local
WV Man Reports Missing Wife After She Enters Dollar General, Authorities Say She’s Still Trying to Find the Exit
Search-and-rescue crews enter after three hours. Two rescuers also become lost somewhere between seasonal decorations and automotive supplies.
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Local
Spirit Halloween Purchases Charleston Town Center, Says Building Already Came Pre-Haunted
Company officials say the downtown property offers everything they need: empty storefronts, flickering lights and enough space for 46,000 animatronic skeletons.
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Local
How to Tell Whether Something in a West Virginia Yard Is Junk or ‘Still Good’
A practical inspection guide for vehicles, appliances and lumber that may become useful immediately after somebody hauls them away.
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Local
The Unwritten Rules of a West Virginia Family Reunion
Bring a covered dish, sit where you are told and never ask who made the potato salad until everyone has eaten it.
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How to give directions in West Virginia.
The destination is three miles away. The explanation begins in 1987.
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Local
How to Give Directions in West Virginia Without Using Road Names
Turn left where the store used to be, continue past a barn that is no longer red and stop if you reach somebody’s cousin.
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Local
Local Man Comments ‘Quit Showing Me This Garbage’ Under 47th Post, Accidentally Becomes Page’s Most Loyal Follower
Social-media experts confirm that watching every video, reading every comment and arguing with strangers may be sending the wrong message to the algorithm.
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Local
New Jersey Man Expelled From West Virginia After Repeatedly Pronouncing Appalachia ‘Appa-LAY-sha’
Residents say they tried correcting him politely, then firmly, and finally with official paperwork.
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Local
West Virginia Man Adds Another Vehicle to Yard After Confirming It “Still Has a Good Motor”
The vehicle has no title, three tires and a tree growing through the passenger floorboard. He insists it is not junk because he “might need something off it.”
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Local
Dollar General Opens New Location Inside Existing Dollar General
Company officials explain that residents were being forced to walk nearly 40 feet from the canned goods to the nearest Dollar General.
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Local
Town Holds Ribbon Cutting for Pothole Finally Filled After 11 Years
Officials praised the twelve-pound bag of cold patch as “transformational infrastructure.”
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Local
WV Man Successfully Avoids Charleston Pothole, Immediately Hits Larger Pothole
Witnesses describe the brief moment between potholes as “the smoothest six feet of road in Charleston.”
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