All Stories

Charleston Man Turns On Heated Seats, Refuses to Admit It’s Cold

His wife says he scraped the windshield in shorts.

West Virginia Man Launches Search for Long-Lost Relative He Spoke to Yesterday

Family requests privacy despite remaining in the same group chat.

November Remembers It’s November, Gives West Virginia Until Thursday to Put Its Shorts Away

Local Woman Says She’s “Keeping Thanksgiving Simple,” Assigns Husband Seventeen Separate Grocery Trips

Final ingredient reportedly mentioned on first list, which husband maintains did not contain it.

West Virginia DNR Announces First Official Zombie Hunting Season

Hunters must purchase a special undead stamp, wear blaze orange and stop claiming every movement in the brush was “definitely a zombie.”

WVU Fans Accuse Schedule Makers of Hiding Michael Hawkins Jr. From Heisman Voters by Playing After Their Bedtime

Mountaineers sent to Lubbock for 9:30 p.m. kickoff, safely beyond the voting committee’s last conscious thought.

West Virginia Family’s “Quick Walmart Trip” Enters Second Presidential Administration

Toothpaste mission expands after someone remembers Christmas pajamas.

Holler Mimic Advisory Warns That Answering “Hey, Buddy” Establishes Permanent Financial Responsibility

Local Hunter Checks Trail Camera, Discovers Deer Have More Consistent Schedule Than He Does

Buck arrives at 6:12 every morning; hunter arrives whenever he finds his gloves.

Giant Catfish Investigation Stalls After Every Witness Turns Out to Know the Same Unnamed Diver

West Virginia Dad Announces He’s “Not Heating the Whole Neighborhood” While Holding Front Door Open for Entire Conversation

Furnace now financially supporting two households and part of a gravel driveway.

Wampus Cat Advisory Reminds Residents That Screaming Back Establishes a Conversation

Local Man Arrives at Polling Place, Discovers Person He’s Been Arguing With on Facebook Holding the Door

Three-week constitutional crisis briefly suspended for discussion of unusually warm weather.

Snarly Yow Advisory Warns Residents That Kissing Noises Will Not Improve Encounter With Phantom Dog

West Virginia Man’s Entire Drive Home Now Takes Place at Midnight Despite It Being 5:14 P.M.

Resident declares day officially over, learns family still expects dinner and groceries.

Ogua Advisory Reminds Fishermen That Losing a Hook Does Not Require a Recovery Operation

November Arrives in West Virginia, Immediately Borrows August’s Clothes

Earl advises residents to keep the winter coat handy, preferably somewhere it won’t interfere with the box fan.

West Virginia Man Spends Extra Hour From Time Change Explaining How It’s “Really” a Different Time

“It’s actually six,” says man standing beneath a clock that clearly says five.

Sheepsquatch Advisory Warns Farmers That Not Everything With Wool Needs Brought Inside the Fence

Why West Virginia Would Absolutely Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Experts say the undead remain poorly prepared for mountains, back roads and a population that has been expecting civilization to collapse since 1978.

West Virginia Patient Zero Contained After Stopping to Explain Which Pocket Knife Everyone Should Carry

Six-hour conversation yields no additional infections, three sharpener purchases.

Local Zombie Gives Up After Failing to Find Brains in Facebook Comments

Patient Zero spends afternoon hungry, somehow joins argument about a black panther.

West Virginia Man Becomes Zombie, Still Expected at Work Monday

Supervisor says employee appears capable of sitting down and making noises.

Grafton Monster Advisory Urges Drivers to Stop Circling Back for a Better Look

Holler Herald Publisher Becomes West Virginia’s Patient Zero, Calls It “Something I’ve Been Preparing For”

Officials declare emergency as local publisher asks whether anyone got a horizontal picture.

Local Dad Volunteers to Inspect Halloween Candy, Rejects Every Reese’s Cup for Further Testing

“I’m not comfortable releasing these to the children yet,” says man conducting investigation from recliner.

Morgantown Taco Supplies Exhausted After Local Man Gets “A Little Hungry”

Restaurants describe coordinated dinner rush involving one customer.

Appalachian Big Cat Advisory Asks Residents to Photograph Animal Before It Becomes a Family Tradition

West Virginia Woman Opens Windows After Husband Says House Is Finally Comfortable

Man who refused to turn furnace on for three weeks now heating neighborhood in shorts.

Greenbrier Ghost Advisory Warns Residents That “Case Closed” Is Not Their Decision