GRAFTON, WV — The Holler Herald’s Field Services Division has released its sixth identification card after a local motorist passed the same headless creature four times while insisting he was leaving.
The Grafton Monster advisory describes a large, pale figure with broad shoulders, long arms, and no visible head.
Resident Terry Vance encountered the creature beside a back road shortly after dark.
“First pass, I thought it was somebody moving a refrigerator,” Vance said. “Then the whole thing stepped over the guardrail.”
Vance continued driving before turning around at a church parking lot.
“I wanted to make sure.”
On his second pass, he confirmed that the figure had no head. On his third, he attempted to determine where it would wear a hat.
By the fourth pass, the creature had moved behind a tree.
“That’s when I figured I might be bothering it.”
Field investigators recommend remaining inside the vehicle and continuing toward the destination residents presumably had before discovering a roadside mystery.
“We reviewed his dashcam,” a division spokesperson said. “You can hear him say, ‘Absolutely not,’ immediately before making another U-turn.”
The division also discourages rolling down a window to ask where the creature’s head went.
“It has had time to notice,” the spokesperson added.
Motorists should avoid flashing their high beams, sounding the horn, or recruiting a passenger to get out and establish scale.
Vance’s wife declined that assignment.
“He said, ‘Just stand near it,’” she recalled. “We have been married twenty-three years. Apparently that was sufficient.”
Vance has since begun taking a different route home, adding twelve minutes to his commute.
He checks the original road on weekends.
Have you encountered the Grafton Monster? Submit your field report to The Holler Herald. Include the location, approximate size, and how many times you drove past after deciding to leave.
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