WEST VIRGINIA — The Holler Herald’s Field Services Division has released its twelfth identification card after a local man answered a friendly voice from the woods and became somebody’s primary source of gas money.
The Holler Mimic, newly documented by the Herald, is a lanky woodland creature with oversized ears, an unsettling smile, and an opening request it describes as “a real quick favor.”
Resident Doug Blevins first encountered the creature while unloading groceries.
“It said, ‘Hey, buddy,’” Blevins recalled. “I figured it was somebody from work.”
Blevins answered, “What’s up?”
Investigators have identified that as the point at which the situation became his problem.
The creature initially requested a cigarette.
Blevins explained that he did not smoke.
“It asked if I could run and get some.”
Over the following week, the Mimic returned seeking five dollars for gas, a ride to the gas station, and another five dollars because the first five “didn’t hardly move the needle.”
Blevins has not seen a vehicle.
“He says it’s just over the hill.”
Field investigators advise residents to recognize the creature by its familiar voice and complete inability to recall a previous loan.
“It remembers your payday,” a division spokesperson said. “It does not remember Tuesday.”
Residents should avoid explaining that they have no cash, as this may introduce a conversation about ATMs.
Claiming to be busy is similarly ineffective.
“He’ll offer to ride along,” the spokesperson said.
Blevins recently attempted to end the encounters by asking the creature to help unload a washing machine.
It vanished before he finished the sentence.
He enjoyed three peaceful days before a voice called from behind the garage.
“Hey, buddy. You got that washer hooked up?”
Have you encountered a Holler Mimic? Submit your field report to The Holler Herald. Include its usual location, opening request, and the amount it swears it will bring back Friday.
The Holler Herald — West Virginia’s Least Reliable News Source.
