WEST VIRGINIA — The Holler Herald’s Field Services Division has released its seventh identification card after a local man attempted to determine whether a horned woodland creature qualified for the livestock auction.
Sheepsquatch is described as a large, shaggy white beast with curved horns, powerful claws, and a disposition unlikely to improve inside a trailer.
Resident Earl Hensley spotted the creature near his pasture while carrying a feed bucket.
“I figured somebody’s ram got loose,” Hensley said. “Then it stood up, and I figured somebody owed me a better explanation.”
Hensley shook the bucket.
The creature approached.
“I will admit that part worked.”
His wife, watching from the kitchen, instructed him to put the bucket down and reconsider the entire arrangement.
Field investigators say the encounter illustrates a recurring problem: residents identifying a supernatural threat and immediately calculating what it might bring per pound.
“One caller asked whether the wool was usable,” a division spokesperson said. “We had not yet established whether his neighbor was coming down out of the tree.”
The division recommends identifying Sheepsquatch by its pale shaggy coat, horns, and strong odor.
Residents should not assume an unpleasant smell means the creature needs bathing.
“That suggestion came from a woman whose husband was already outside unwinding the hose,” the spokesperson said.
Anyone encountering Sheepsquatch should back away slowly and abandon plans involving feed, fencing, grooming, or registration papers.
Hensley has since recovered his bucket, although he reports that his goats now gather at the barn door well before sunset.
He remains interested in the creature’s agricultural potential.
His wife has hidden the trailer keys.
Have you encountered Sheepsquatch? Submit your field report to The Holler Herald. Include the location, a description, and whether anybody in your party said, “I believe I could catch it.”
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