CLAY COUNTY, WV — A local volunteer fire department’s annual fundraiser exceeded expectations Saturday evening, raising more than $14,000 and leaving organizers responsible for three roosters nobody remembers approving.
The event featured a spaghetti dinner, bake sale, silent auction and raffle intended to help the department replace aging equipment and repair a fire engine currently held together by zip ties, determination and a dashboard light everyone has agreed to ignore.
“We asked the community to give whatever they could,” Fire Chief Randy Morris said. “We probably should have been more specific.”
Residents donated cash, homemade pies, canned vegetables, handmade quilts and gift baskets containing everything from coffee to automotive fluids.
The first rooster arrived shortly before noon inside a cardboard box marked FUNDRAISER DONATION — DO NOT OPEN INDOORS.
A second appeared near the raffle table approximately 20 minutes later.
Nobody witnessed the arrival of the third.
“We turned around and he was just standing beside the banana pudding,” volunteer firefighter Travis White said. “He acted like he’d been assigned there.”
Organizers briefly considered adding the birds to the silent auction, but abandoned the idea after none of the roosters remained silent.
One bird received a bid of five dollars before officials discovered the bidder had written someone else’s name on the form.
The fundraiser’s most popular item was a basket containing locally made pepperoni rolls, two restaurant gift cards and a coupon offering four hours of backhoe work “within reason.”
Other donated items included a used leaf blower, a deer stand missing one ladder section and a boat motor described by its former owner as “probably an easy fix.”
The motor received seven bids.
By the end of the evening, the department had raised $14,237—enough to purchase several sets of protective gear and begin repairs on the fire engine.
The roosters raised nothing.
Chief Morris thanked the community for its generosity but announced several changes for next year’s event.
“We’ll still accept cash, checks, baked goods and raffle items,” he said. “But anything that has feathers, hooves or requires feeding needs prior approval.”
At press time, one rooster had been adopted by a firefighter, another had escaped behind the station and the third had been promoted to assistant chief after demonstrating an ability to wake up the entire department.
The Holler Herald — West Virginia’s Least Reliable News Source
If it happens in the hills, we’ll probably report it. If it starts crowing behind the fire station, somebody probably donated it.
