SOMEWHERE IN WEST VIRGINIA — A routine county commission meeting entered its fourth hour Tuesday evening after officials lost track of which motion they had amended, who had seconded it and whether they were currently voting to approve, postpone or reconsider it.
The confusion began when Commissioner Dale Whitaker made a motion concerning repairs to the county courthouse parking lot.
Commissioner Linda Treadway seconded the motion but requested that it be amended to include repairs to the courthouse steps.
Whitaker agreed to the amendment, prompting Commissioner Harold Webb to introduce a second amendment requiring the county to first determine whether the steps legally qualified as steps.
That amendment was also seconded.
Approximately eleven minutes later, nobody could remember who had made the original motion.
“I support the amended version of the motion,” Whitaker said. “I just wish somebody could tell me what it does.”
County Clerk Marlene Fisher attempted to reconstruct the discussion using her handwritten notes, but discovered she had written only “parking lot,” “steps?” and “Harold talking again.”
Fisher asked commissioners to start over.
Webb immediately objected.
“We can’t start over until we vote to reconsider,” he said. “And we can’t reconsider until somebody who voted with the prevailing side makes the motion.”
Commissioners then spent 23 minutes attempting to determine which side had prevailed.
No vote had occurred.
County Attorney Richard Sloan advised the commission that it could withdraw the original motion and introduce a new one.
This suggestion was rejected after officials realized nobody knew who was authorized to withdraw it.
“I think it was Dale’s motion,” Treadway said.
“I thought it was yours,” Whitaker replied.
“It became Harold’s after the second amendment,” Treadway said.
“That’s not how amendments work,” Webb said.
“You’re the one who amended it.”
“I amended Linda’s amendment to Dale’s motion.”
“Then it’s your motion.”
“No, it isn’t.”
The commission paused for a five-minute recess.
The recess lasted 37 minutes after commissioners began discussing the issue in the hallway and accidentally continued the meeting without officially reconvening.
Several residents who attended to ask about drainage problems remained seated throughout the confusion.
One resident, 71-year-old Earl Jenkins, said he had arrived at 6 p.m. hoping to speak for approximately two minutes.
By 9:15, Jenkins had finished a bag of peppermints, read the county emergency-evacuation map twice and begun considering whether the drainage problem was worth solving.
“At this point, I’m willing to let the creek have the house,” Jenkins said.
When the meeting resumed, Commission President Whitaker attempted to bring the original motion back to the floor.
County Clerk Fisher reminded him that the motion had never left the floor.
Whitaker then asked whether the commission was ready to vote.
Webb requested that the motion be read aloud.
Fisher stared at him for several seconds.
“Read what aloud, Harold?”
A review of the meeting’s audio recording provided little assistance because all three commissioners had spoken simultaneously for most of the discussion.
The only clearly audible statement was an unidentified voice saying, “That’s not what we voted on last time.”
Officials could not determine which previous vote the speaker was referencing.
At 9:42 p.m., Treadway proposed tabling the motion until the next meeting.
Whitaker seconded the proposal.
Webb objected, arguing that tabling the motion would require the commission to know what it was tabling.
“We could be postponing something the county desperately needs,” Webb warned.
“We don’t know what it is,” Treadway replied.
“That doesn’t mean we don’t need it.”
The commissioners eventually agreed to appoint a temporary committee tasked with determining the subject of the original motion.
The committee will consist of all three commissioners, County Clerk Fisher and “anyone who was still paying attention around 7:30.”
Funding for the committee will be discussed at a later meeting.
Before adjourning, Whitaker asked for a motion to approve the evening’s meeting minutes.
Webb moved to approve them.
Treadway seconded.
Fisher informed the commission that the minutes had not yet been written.
Webb withdrew his motion.
Treadway objected to the withdrawal.
This initiated another 18-minute discussion.
The meeting finally ended shortly after 10 p.m. when Whitaker accidentally made a motion to adjourn while attempting to ask whether anyone wanted to take another recess.
The motion passed unanimously.
Commissioners later celebrated it as the only clear decision made all evening.
The courthouse parking lot remains damaged.
The steps are still believed to be steps, pending legal review.
The Holler Herald — West Virginia’s Least Reliable News Source
If it happens in the hills, we’ll probably report it. If it didn’t, give us about twenty minutes.
